Hearing Households, Deaf Siblings

Part of our Fissures series.

“Mom! Tell him to stop looking at me!”

“Stay on your own side!”

“If I have to pull this car over, it won’t be pretty…”

It’s almost cliche, at least from the perspective of someone with no siblings. Admittedly, I have only the observation of others to go on…but I’d bet a candy bar that most of you remember some exchange like the above. It’s the sibling way.

Birth order, boundaries, differences in personality and skills, parental attention – everything’s an opportunity to grow and/or be frustrated. Then throw in deafness — a language issue, no matter how it’s being handled by the parents, adds to the adventure of natural sibling stress.

Some hearing siblings become the de facto interpreters, a role they may enjoy, exploit, or endure during any season or moment of life. It’s a simple proposition: they understand one another, and one has audio access to the household happenings. Rare is the mom who never said “tell your brother/sister/father it’s time to eat.” Imagine yourself in either sibling’s role when _every_ communication starts with “tell your…”

Depending on the personalities involved, children might easily drift un-noticed into bully and doormat roles. Though the power available to the hearing sibling may swing the pendulum one direction more often, there’s also a power in being the one in the family who requires accommodations. As adults, those roles and scripts may still be in force, making life without family interaction seem a whole lot easier.

Don’t despair – there’s good news! A lot of siblings, deaf, hearing, or otherwise, have fantastic relationships. They’ve gotten past the back seat turf wars, the wrestling matches and rug burns, and even the perceived perks and slights of growing up in their household, whatever it looked like. One huge step forward in that growth is the ability to do and enjoy things together. This is the beauty of Dr. Wonder’s Workshop.

Every week, across the country and around the world, siblings agree to sit in the same room and watch a TV show they can all enjoy together in the language that suits each of them best. The all-Deaf cast brings laughter, lessons, and faith perspective in American Sign Language. Hearing family members get voices, music, and sound effects. Captions are available in English and Spanish, so whether a child relies on sign, audio, or text, they can understand and enjoy the show. Together.

Dr. Wonder’s Workshop is also available on DVDs and our free streaming video app, God Loves Deaf Kids. That should help reduce the back seat battles!