Mixed Marriages

Part of the Fissures series.

“And the two shall become one.” It’s as naturally achieved as “I now pronounce you man and wife,” right? If you’re married, you know better!

Toilet paper and toothpaste — everyone knows you load the roll so that it feeds from the top/bottom, and of course squeezing toothpaste from the middle works faster than being fussy about the end of the tube. These are the easy ones… vertical paper holders and separate sinks. Then again, should the paper turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?

When it comes to building a new household with two people from very different backgrounds and experiences, that’s a whole new question. I honestly don’t understand why a couple would sign up for that level of stress, but many do. Whether it’s faith, race, or the Mason-Dixon line, many opposites find themselves attracted to one another and choose to make a go of it.

That includes Deaf and Hearing couples — both sign, and one has access to the audio world. Interpreting for your spouse becomes a daily negotiation, or a standing expectation. Watching your spouse turn their head mid-conversation because a noise happened can cause one to feel disrespected. The undercurrent of stress in not turning toward noise, or not flinching when someone does, is real. Many couples manage these issues and more, but it’s definitely fertile ground for fissures, to say nothing of how the dynamics of extended family and children can add to the adventure.

The good news is, whether it’s toothpaste etiquette or what to bring to the family potluck, couples who lean on Christ can’t help but be drawn together. That’s where the Deaf Missions app, the Deaf Bible app, and Deaf Harbor come in. Scripture, devotionals, and worship music are presented in ASL on videos that signing couples can share, discuss, and enjoy. That’s where intimacy with the Lord, and with one another, can grow richly.

You may now kiss the bride! (mmmm…toothpaste!)